Head’s up: this article may contain language inappropriate to some
When Licensed To Ill exploded into pop culture in 1986 I had no idea that these three bratty douchebags would end up being anything more than a flash in the pan. “Girls” was particularly cringe-worthy in my juvenile eyes. Lyrics like “So I went into the locker room during classes; bust into your locker and I smashed your glasses” didn’t bode well for high school nerds. Relax, I now find this all hysterical and the Beastie Boys soon became one of my favorite bands with the release of Paul’s Boutique, which I still consider one of the most brilliantly assembled albums of all time.
From 1986 to 2011, the band went from rapping about girls doing their laundry to rapping about Star Trek. Here are the best nerdy Beastie Boys lyrics from over 2 decades of amazing music:
10. “Flame on, I’m gone
I’m sweet like a nice bon bon”
Body Movin’, Hello Nasty
If this isn’t about The Human Torch, then I don’t want to know about it.
9. “Trench coat wing tip going to work
and you’ll be pulling a train like Captain Kirk”
B-Boy Bouillabaisse, Paul’s Boutique
DID YOU KNOW?
Star Wars: The Force Awakens debuted a fighter pilot with the oddly familiar name Ello Asty. Read a great article on Inverse about it. I bought the action figure right away!
8. “Like the 6 million dollar man
I’m gonna bust Lee Majors style”
Lee Majors Come Again, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two
7. “We’re the scientists of sound
Mathematically putting it down
When lightening strikes best grab the ground
Got to get up to get down”
Unite, Hello Nasty
6. “I’ve got billions and billions of rhymes to flex
Coz I’ve got more rhymes than Carl Sagan’s got turtlenecks.”
Hey Fuck You, To The 5 Boroughs
5. “All you Trekkies and TV addicts
Don’t mean to diss; don’t mean to bring static
All you Klingons in the fuckin house
Grab your backstreet friend and get loud”
Ch-Check It Out, To The 5 Boroughs
4. “My name plate medallion
Says never trust a HAL 9000″
Grasshopper Unit-Hello Nasty
I need to go order this for real, right now.
3. “Whether in a high rise where you live like Rhoda
Or in a shack and you live like Yoda”
All Lifestyles-To The 5 Boroughs
I only ranked this as 3 because they rhymed “Yoda” with “Rhoda”, a Mary Tyler Moore Show spin-off I love to this day.
2. “The fountain of youth not Robotron”
Sounds of Science-Paul’s Boutique
It was difficult picking just one lyric from Sounds of Science. In the end, Robotron always wins.
1.”Your knees will start shaking and your fingers pop
Like a pinch in the neck from Mr. Spock”
Intergalactic, Hello Nasty
Really, the entire song, artwork and video wins this countdown.